The Party!
We are about to get a little personal with the A-team. We have thrown parties before, we have video taped them, but we have never gave you behind the scenes dialogue! Well here is your chance to utilize your imagination and pretend you are one of us for a few minutes.
The whole idea about the Keg Party that we threw on October 5th came from a man formerly known as Steven Domingues. He insisted that we host this beer-fest sometime in the near future to prove our manhood. So hey, one night I finish doing the thing with John Donavan and Im like hey why not lets throw a Keg party. I start gathering the dimes and nickels I had in my sisters piggy-bank to buy the keg. I told moms I was having people over to celebrate Columbus Day. Our plans were set and we were making it happen.
The day came closer and closer, and in hopes of not throwing a sausage party I dialed every single number in the little black book. Some girls gave me the conceited answer we might pass by or idk if Im coming yet. Well you know what, that was the last time you girls were invited. The A-team had their usual scuffle with these girls because they are just so spoiled, every guy wants girls at his house, they think they have choice and shit. Do you girls understand the difference between the A-teams party and some nerds party is that between any 2 a-team members there is a combined sausage length of 16 inches. All of you idiots that dont know how to do math, I will help you out. If you pick out any 2 members of the A-team, and summed up their girth, you would find a sum of over 16.00 inches (this goes for all you fags that think youre so big when you really arent so shut the fuck up).
I have to do homework so Im going to make this kind of quick. So the night was here, I had picked up the monster keg at Tonys Deli with Mark. John and I worked hard to make room for the dozens of testosterone/estrogen infested teens. There was some tension because nothing fit and we needed space for the beer-pong table. So the sausage started to pour in, or so I thought, yet quickly the room was filled with virgin teen canyon (canyon is the new name for a coochie, therefore a canyon party would be the opposite of a sausage party). The A-team was feeling this event, we pumped the beer out of the keg and pounded it like there was no tomorrow.
The girls were wrecktified in about 30 minutes off 2 Smirnoff ice drinks (the greatest invention since the television). The girls start to look better after 5 beers but some of these girls would have needed the 10 beer rule (you are only allowed to hook up with them after 10 or more beers). Meanwhile, I was chillen in the room with Steven, playing some 1 on 1 beer-pong after these so called big drinkers dropped out, and there was a girl watching us. This was no ordinary girl this was a little b-55 missile straight from Osomas headquarters (she was a grenade, bomb, explosive device aka not so good looking). So this girl is straight up acting like its an American Pie scene, I tried to get Steve to hook up with her, you know give his sausage a little play.. and the thanks I get is
Sir StevenD (9:39:17 PM): I cant believe you told me to hook up with her
Sir StevenD (9:39:20 PM): you sick bastard
Sir StevenD (9:40:44 PM): I could of been unconscious I wouldnt have hooked up with that girl.
The cellular was ringing and the girls were coming, there was a slight dilemma, people were hanging around outside. So my dad strolled in through the garage, and started bitching, that was all taken care of in a second.
Two years ago I called a girl Shark-Face--her mug just looked like the identical human replica of a shark. You know how scientists say we evolved from monkeys, well she didnt. So anyway, last year as I chilled at my locker with the boys and I noticed another girl that looked identical, she was soon baptized as Shark-Face 2, we screamed this name out in school and she must have known it was for her. What do you know? Shark-Face 2 was at my house! So Mike and I are talking to her because she is about to pass out in the living room, and Steven Domingues comes in and immediately interrupts our conversation and says to the girl How do you feel about sharks I started laughing and she got pissed as hell, shes like shut the fuck up! He goes common no I just wanted to know how you felt about the Sharks. Im like Steve shut up, he goes what man I just wanted to know how the girl felt about reptiles(Steve since when are sharks fucking reptiles?).
BigPoppaPump246 (9:35:30 PM): yo, that was mad funny last night when steve asked kelly....'how do u feel about the sharks.'
BigPoppaPump246 (9:35:34 PM): lol...god damn
Sir StevenD (9:37:32 PM): that was great
Sir StevenD (9:37:35 PM): she was befuddled
After this happened, I was called upstairs by my dad once again. That mofo needs some anger-management classes because he went ape. I would of dropped him like a bad habit. Anyway, there was a herd of animals outside with loud cars and making noise. My dad had to put an end to it. This happened at the exact moment when 3 groups of canyon were approaching my house. I had to evacuate the area and managed to get some Putang in the back door.
So I walk back downstairs and try to keep the noise level down. At this point there was some extra sausage, very little sausage I might add brought to you by Tony Pinto (not related to me) and Matt Gomes? They were escorted in by a familiar cock-hungry slut named Shannon. So Steve starts running game on some prude girl that was in the building, later to find out she was talking to somebody. Well you know what, when you walk into my house, you ARENT talking to anybody but the A-team so next time know the deal.
So the Putang leaves, and we are chillen in the living room when Mr. Domingues passed out. Kevin Gerhman was courteous enough to bring some ham and salami sandwiches. Steve was suddenly bombarded with wet ham to his grill. They Annihilated this kid, followed by pouring chips on him and soaking his pants with some warm water in hopes of getting him to pee on my couch you dicks. So Steve gets up and starts choke slamming people all over the place like his name is the Undertaker. I soon walk upstairs to hopefully SLEEP! Im sleeping in the same bed with Mike (sorry Melissa) and my mom walks in. She tells me people are barfing. I get up pissed as hell and I see a poor soul walking in white boxers and big black shoes. He was searching for something at 3 oclock in the morning. It was Joe looking for his god damn keys. This kid is known to drink and drive so I told that mofo not to think about driving. A few minutes earlier than this there was some hardcore sex going on downstairs. I hope it was good because that couch is uncomfortable, TRUST ME I KNOW!
So to close this long thing off, the night was done, the keg was half-full and the girls were gone. We woke up and recapped what had happened. What a night, I guess you had to be there. Peace
